Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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