All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
