it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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