He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
