dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You have to summon your inner elephant
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
