his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
