if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
