I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have tasted many bathrooms
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
