oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
