the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
