so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
