I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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