Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
