Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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