Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
