Do you still have your period?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
