What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
