I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
