After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
