Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i now understand why vodka
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
