DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
