Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
