1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
