How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
