Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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