Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
