i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
