I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
we're making bets on your personal life
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
