fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
