stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
