i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
