Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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