We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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