so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
