You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
