i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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