I hate your face
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
