ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
