yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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