where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Randomize
