we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just pee around me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
