You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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