Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
