now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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