I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
