whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize