Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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