I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
