I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
