So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
