lets start a swedish sibling band together
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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