i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
