The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize