Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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