3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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