I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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