you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I'm really busy with my period
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