I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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