what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
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She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
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The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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