did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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