we have officially lost it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
