Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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