Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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