So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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