Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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