Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
