Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize