apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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