You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
