I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
