I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
